After my trip to Mookambika over the weekend, and seeing people with complete faith and devotion I have been thinking a lot about God and God Men. If I am asked 'Do you believe in God' I will say 'Yes'. But then, I don't feel the kind of devotion and complete faith that so many people seem to feel. I read a lot of booklets on Mata Amritanandamayi and also read stuff on the net. People have complete faith in her and look up to her as God...but I have a lot of unanswered questions on this topic. I feel a certain unease when I realize I can't see what these other people see/feel.
I chatted with a couple of people on this. It seems, if you just let go of your inhibitions and believe that God exists and will answer your prayers, you will feel the bliss that believers feel the moment the temple doors open after the puja. If you keep telling this to your subconscious mind, it will in turn train your conscious mind to feel the 'cant-be-described-in-words' experience that believers feel when Amma hugs. I guess it is a chicken and egg problem. Unless I feel it, I won't believe it...but then, they say, unless you believe it, you won't feel it. Am working on the believing part....but till then, the C&H strip from today's paper describes what I feel!
