A couple of days back, it rained heavily and the 2nd century drainage system in Bangalore just gave up and timed out. We were driving back late at night after watching Harry Potter – Order of the Phoenix and everything around us was in disorder! Before I realize and prepare myself I find water all the way up to the bonnet of the car and then lo and behold the water seeped in through the base of the car and I could feel it at my feet! After that there was no stopping my over imaginative mind! Though I hate to admit this about my car, the zen sometimes gives away in the ½ tarred roads in Bangalore. So by no stretch of imagination can it pull through from deep waters. Now there’s water at my feet…how long will it take to cover us up..and drown us? The thought itself made me breathless as if I was literally in water and drowning. How much time did we have? We din’t have oars…else we could have rowed back to land. Rex hadn’t given us any of the harry potter magic wands as souvenirs for watching the movie on a rainy night! I started picturing ‘Day after tomorrow’ and looked around melodramatically and asked Dippie ‘what should I do? What will happen now?’ expecting him to say something really cool or bizarre….maybe the next step was lowering the windows, leaping out and start swimming to safety…In anticipation I had started taking deep breaths before plunging into water.
He looked at me quizzically and said ‘swerve a little to the right and then make a left’. How boring! While I had made a trip to heaven/hell and back, all he did was look out carefully at the road for relatively steeper portions!
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Slipping away...
It is fast slipping away
Even as I do all I can…
Even as I put all my will and might
Unperturbed, the grains just slip away…
As if to mock the sweat I put
When I naively picked up a fistful
It bore a promise of fun times…
Now, painfully, I am aware of every grain…
Callously slipping away and causing scars as they leave
Not even turning back to savor victory
It must be the undying hope of triumph
That makes me foolishly just hold on tighter
Abetting even the smallest grain
To do more while it is happily slipping away
And forever be lost amidst the countless grains
Scorched, defeated and scarred
I brush my hands in despair
I look around unwavering…for something less transient
With outstretched palms make a dash towards the ocean
Believing that water from my palms will never slip away!
Even as I do all I can…
Even as I put all my will and might
Unperturbed, the grains just slip away…
As if to mock the sweat I put
When I naively picked up a fistful
It bore a promise of fun times…
Now, painfully, I am aware of every grain…
Callously slipping away and causing scars as they leave
Not even turning back to savor victory
It must be the undying hope of triumph
That makes me foolishly just hold on tighter
Abetting even the smallest grain
To do more while it is happily slipping away
And forever be lost amidst the countless grains
Scorched, defeated and scarred
I brush my hands in despair
I look around unwavering…for something less transient
With outstretched palms make a dash towards the ocean
Believing that water from my palms will never slip away!
Monday, July 02, 2007
Losing Gracefully
Ever since I was a kid I have been accused of not being a graceful loser. I remember the endless games of Ludo we used to play all through the summer vacations with my brother and friends next door. Everything was hunky dory while I was winning. But the moment I started to lose my bro used to hold on to the Ludo board and after every throw of the die, take a mental picture of where all the coins were, so that we could resume even after I had flung the board ceiling ward! No matter how much we played and how much I or my team won, I have had a problem with losing!
When I was older, we played basketball during lunch break. By then, I had learnt not to display my extreme emotions with my friends. Though I was at my aggressive best when I was losing, I managed to not throw things around or make a scene while I was losing. But I remember feeling miserable about losing. A couple of weeks back, in some trivial competition at my work place, I lost something I thought would be a cakewalk for me. I smiled and clapped alright..and definitely didn’t look like someone who was miserable. But I walked out of the award distribution with so many unwanted thoughts as if I had lost the biggest game of my life! I sometimes think it is so weird that I make such a big deal about these trivial things. I like to hear/read philosophical things like ‘its just a game. Treat it like one. Have fun playing it’. But it ends there…I just like to hear and read those things. I can’t assimilate it. I think it is perfectly all right if the captain cries after losing a match, right there in the middle of the ground. In my opinion that shows he/she was passionate about winning. What’s wrong in displaying a little disappointment at not meeting your own expectations? I agree it would be inappropriate if Nadal flung his racket across the net at his opponent after losing. But I think it is quite alright to sit there and bawl first…and then if the opponent comes up to you…well..he could shake hands and congratulate him. You went out there to win. The topmost thing on your mind is extreme disappointment at losing…it is inhuman to expect such a person to smile and say ‘am glad for you’! You are anything but glad! Why has smiling after losing become the accepted code of conduct? While outwardly I silently abide by the code in most occasions where I am expected to, deep down, I am still learning to lose gracefully and treat a game as one!
When I was older, we played basketball during lunch break. By then, I had learnt not to display my extreme emotions with my friends. Though I was at my aggressive best when I was losing, I managed to not throw things around or make a scene while I was losing. But I remember feeling miserable about losing. A couple of weeks back, in some trivial competition at my work place, I lost something I thought would be a cakewalk for me. I smiled and clapped alright..and definitely didn’t look like someone who was miserable. But I walked out of the award distribution with so many unwanted thoughts as if I had lost the biggest game of my life! I sometimes think it is so weird that I make such a big deal about these trivial things. I like to hear/read philosophical things like ‘its just a game. Treat it like one. Have fun playing it’. But it ends there…I just like to hear and read those things. I can’t assimilate it. I think it is perfectly all right if the captain cries after losing a match, right there in the middle of the ground. In my opinion that shows he/she was passionate about winning. What’s wrong in displaying a little disappointment at not meeting your own expectations? I agree it would be inappropriate if Nadal flung his racket across the net at his opponent after losing. But I think it is quite alright to sit there and bawl first…and then if the opponent comes up to you…well..he could shake hands and congratulate him. You went out there to win. The topmost thing on your mind is extreme disappointment at losing…it is inhuman to expect such a person to smile and say ‘am glad for you’! You are anything but glad! Why has smiling after losing become the accepted code of conduct? While outwardly I silently abide by the code in most occasions where I am expected to, deep down, I am still learning to lose gracefully and treat a game as one!
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