Losing Gracefully

Ever since I was a kid I have been accused of not being a graceful loser. I remember the endless games of Ludo we used to play all through the summer vacations with my brother and friends next door. Everything was hunky dory while I was winning. But the moment I started to lose my bro used to hold on to the Ludo board and after every throw of the die, take a mental picture of where all the coins were, so that we could resume even after I had flung the board ceiling ward! No matter how much we played and how much I or my team won, I have had a problem with losing!

When I was older, we played basketball during lunch break. By then, I had learnt not to display my extreme emotions with my friends. Though I was at my aggressive best when I was losing, I managed to not throw things around or make a scene while I was losing. But I remember feeling miserable about losing. A couple of weeks back, in some trivial competition at my work place, I lost something I thought would be a cakewalk for me. I smiled and clapped alright..and definitely didn’t look like someone who was miserable. But I walked out of the award distribution with so many unwanted thoughts as if I had lost the biggest game of my life! I sometimes think it is so weird that I make such a big deal about these trivial things. I like to hear/read philosophical things like ‘its just a game. Treat it like one. Have fun playing it’. But it ends there…I just like to hear and read those things. I can’t assimilate it. I think it is perfectly all right if the captain cries after losing a match, right there in the middle of the ground. In my opinion that shows he/she was passionate about winning. What’s wrong in displaying a little disappointment at not meeting your own expectations? I agree it would be inappropriate if Nadal flung his racket across the net at his opponent after losing. But I think it is quite alright to sit there and bawl first…and then if the opponent comes up to you…well..he could shake hands and congratulate him. You went out there to win. The topmost thing on your mind is extreme disappointment at losing…it is inhuman to expect such a person to smile and say ‘am glad for you’! You are anything but glad! Why has smiling after losing become the accepted code of conduct? While outwardly I silently abide by the code in most occasions where I am expected to, deep down, I am still learning to lose gracefully and treat a game as one!